Jan. 7th, 2010

baby stuff

Jan. 7th, 2010 08:32 am
mockingbirdq: (Default)
I'm 18 weeks pregnant now. The nausea is getting better - I'm only sick a few times a day now, so I think I will be one of the lucky sufferers for whom HG ends by 20 weeks - Thank goodness. I've been able to feel the baby moving for a few weeks now, and Tomu can too when the baby is being especially active- which is a lot. I think this one will be hyper like its big brother Fox ;) I am already having braxton-hicks which is weird since I never had them until the last month with Fox.

I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do about work next year. In a perfect world (or better country) I could be off for 6 months or a year to have time to bond with my baby. Instead I have to decide between finding a way we can survive financially if I stay home for a year, find a decent paying part time job that lets me earn enough for even part time childcare, do childcare for others in my home or simply work full time and know that I will be exhausted and miserable and have to formula feed.

I keep going over our budget but I just can't find a way to manage our home on one income even if we cut back. We could drop one car, drop childcare and live off our very small savings, but it would be very shaky and barely possible...

Tomu isn't very supportive of the idea either. He doesn't understand at all WHY I even want to be home with the baby after it is born. I try to explain how horrible I felt putting Fox in daycare each day at 6 months, and I would be doing it to this child at 6 weeks. I try to explain how hard it is to pump from work. I try to explain that I will need time myself to recover from this difficult pregnancy and giving birth. Just - blank expression. He's a man and it really doesn't compute. He hated the short time he stayed home with Fox as an older baby and he was much happier coming home at night, cuddling and playing with him a bit and then putting him to bed. That just made me feel like I had missed his whole day and infancy passes so fast. This will be our last baby and I don't want to miss any of it this time...

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mockingbirdq

August 2010

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