Jun. 30th, 2009

mockingbirdq: (kyoko)
So, I survived this weekend. On the one hand, it was nice for the boys to play together (and I have adorable photos of them curled up in the same bed). On the other hand, two kids 9 months apart for all intents and purposes act like twins, and they are a great deal of work. They are sweet though.

We went to a farm a few hours away, and ended up picking blackberries since the blueberries were dried up.  It was strange for me, because I used to spend every summer picking dewberries in the wood sbehind our house, and eating them rolled in a bowl full of sugar. Fox doesn't like the seeds.

I also spent over $40 at their fruit stand, so we now have organic homemade preserves, syrup, lovely peaches, peach-pecan bread, pecan cookies, and sweet-fire pickles (which are Tomu's favorite). We also drank fresh cider and had peach ice cream there. Yum!

Today Fox is spending the afternoon at Little Gym while I get an eye exam. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my poor nephew is having his tonsils and adnoids out, and having a deviated septum corrected at the same time. He will not be a happy 18 year old for a few days.

Maybe I'll take my niece out for my birthday. I think it would be fun to go drag her and Fox to Ice Age 3. I definitely have to take her to see HP though - she and her friends have been posting fan vids on Youtube with themselves reinacting favorite scenes and she adore Fred/George. I have a bed feeling I'm going to stumble on my own neice on a HP slash community sometime soon ;)
mockingbirdq: (hips)

Following links posted by [personal profile] conuly

Most people who know my family know that we have tried to raise Fox with a lot of androgeny. Growing up, he wears whatever he likes, although he never opted for a dress we would have let him wear one if he wanted. He does have panties, which he now doesn't care to wear since apparently it was only fun when it involved stealing them from myself and his Nana ;) He has owned and played with trucks and baby dolls, trains and a pink wooden kitchen, stuffed animals and action figures, and it's only recently when he will look at something pink (once his FAVORITE color) and disdainfully announce "That's for girls!" leading to lots of discussion by me about "why?" and "Can't girls do this??" What I tell him still seems to matter less than what his peers model, unfortunately.

Androgeny works up until it is challenged by his peers, other preschoolers, especially other boys. Fox loved his pink nailpolish until the boys at school informed him only black would do, and he and his cousin had fun with their green nailpolish last weekend, but then became embarressed when a 10 year old girl made a big deal about it at the playground. Still, Fox sometimes indulges in hairclips and pink shirts, and seems unscarred by both. As an educator, I know that studies show that children who are most androgeneous also grow up the most secure in their individuality, are more creative and confident in themselves.

So I don't really understand the controversary inherent in this: http://www.thelocal.se/20232/20090623/  Years ago, I read a book called "Maybe Baby" by Tenaya Darlington which centered around a baby that parents are keeping from being gendered, by dressing in gender neutral clothing and only allowing the children to play with Waldorf style toys to the extreme (nothing with a human face, etc...)
My only issue with that is that woudln't it be healthier to do what these Swedish parents do, and encourage both genders stereotype for the child. It seems like that would be healthier for the child than forbidding all things associated with either gender.

That said, it would be very hard to hide gender from others completely (how often did Fox strip his clothes off in public as a toddler? I was ready to duct-tape his onesies ;) so I wonder how well this will work long term. But encouraging androgeny in your child in every way possible would definitely be worthwhile.

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