Jul. 9th, 2009

mockingbirdq: (smirk)
Tonight Fox suddenly decided he didn't want to join in at Karate class (no idea why - he came home yesterday happy and excited afterwards although he has only been taking it two weeks.) After the class was about half over, he finally stopped observing and joined in. I wasn't very concerned about it because that was the kind of kid I was, and even though I wish he were more outgoing I'm not going to force him into a situation where he isn't comfortable.

Until one of the instructors came up and started basically grilling me about his behavior (Is he a germaphobe? I notice he doesn't like other people to touch him. Does he act this way at home?) After being startled enough to answer the first few questions, I went to the director to change him to a different class with a different instructor. I guess he'll be taking gymnastics from now on...

I get that this instructor likely wanted me to offer some kind of condition to explain his behavior or was trying to hint to me that there should be one, but as long as Fox is outgoing and happy with friends and family, I'm just not very concerned about how he behaves socially with people and situations he is comfortable with yet.

In the past I've been diagnosed with depression (tried therapy and drugs for a few years, decided they made me insane and simply went back to normal.) and possibly high functioning asperger's syndrome. I have 3 generations of familly on my father's side who suffered from "nervous conditions" and my own father struggled with depression and nervous breakdowns his whole life. I have young family members in therapy taking various medications that calm them and help them function in social situations. My own sister is constantly trying to talk me into going to her doctor to try a pill he gives her for "nervousness".  I just prefer who I am normally.

I get that Fox has a lot against him not needing treatment for something like that someday, but I really don't feel that I want my five year old labeled with that kind of baggage yet. If his kindegarten teacher recommends testing and he ends up with an IEP, then we'll deal with it. But if he follows any family member (me, dh, his cousins...) he will end up in a GT program as well at some point. He's smart, talkative and funny and way more outgoing than I was at his age once he warms up to a situation.

I'm just feeling sad because my own childhood was hard, due to my own social/mental issues as well as my father's and I don't want that for Fox. I wanted his social life to be easier, and I have a feeling the next few years are going to be difficult for him. I'm sad tonight...


mockingbirdq: (Default)

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