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hard week...
Aug. 22nd, 2004 03:07 pmWe were so lucky today...
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The sad thing is, after it happened, all I could think of was "we shouldn't be here anyway". I want to be back home. I want to stay with my baby every day instead of having to leave him while I go to work. I want to have MY family nearby, not Tomu's. I want our friends back. This isn't the life I wanted...
Sorry, needed to vent. My breastmilk is drying up too, so my hormones are all out of wack. I'd planned to bf Fox until he was a year old, but that's not working out. I don't have any time to breastpump at work. Most of the kids are great, but there are a few of them that are just making teaching miserable... I'm just sad, carless, and lonely right now. Nothing has worked out the way I'd hoped. Tomu doesn't want to stay home with the baby anymore either (idiot thought staying at home would be "like a vacation" He's now discovered a baby is harder work than any job outside the home) so we trying to find a decent daycare soon.
Oh, Shiaolin called yesterday and that REALLY made me cry. She's not coming back for at least 3 more months because her mom has hit the end stage of her cancer. There's nothing they can do now except make her comfortable and Shiaolin is staying with her until the end. I wish we could do something to help, but she's halfway around the world right now. We miss her so much...
Just a horrible time all around right now. I want my mom !
( Read more... )
The sad thing is, after it happened, all I could think of was "we shouldn't be here anyway". I want to be back home. I want to stay with my baby every day instead of having to leave him while I go to work. I want to have MY family nearby, not Tomu's. I want our friends back. This isn't the life I wanted...
Sorry, needed to vent. My breastmilk is drying up too, so my hormones are all out of wack. I'd planned to bf Fox until he was a year old, but that's not working out. I don't have any time to breastpump at work. Most of the kids are great, but there are a few of them that are just making teaching miserable... I'm just sad, carless, and lonely right now. Nothing has worked out the way I'd hoped. Tomu doesn't want to stay home with the baby anymore either (idiot thought staying at home would be "like a vacation" He's now discovered a baby is harder work than any job outside the home) so we trying to find a decent daycare soon.
Oh, Shiaolin called yesterday and that REALLY made me cry. She's not coming back for at least 3 more months because her mom has hit the end stage of her cancer. There's nothing they can do now except make her comfortable and Shiaolin is staying with her until the end. I wish we could do something to help, but she's halfway around the world right now. We miss her so much...
Just a horrible time all around right now. I want my mom !
