Long update/announcement

I haven't been able to update my lj because Tomu was trying to do something to my computer (some kinda memory upgrade or something...) Sorry I missed wishing you a wonderful birthday Kracken!

Todd went and had his first professional (if Walmart counts as such) portrait made this morning. Of course, I went in planning to spend only $1.88 and left having spent $30 instead. Some of his pictures were just soo cute!

Our Fox is being baptisted this Sunday at our Lutheran church. Friends here in town are invited to come at 10am and stay after for a small party (You may want to bring soda if you come. My budget only allowed for iced tea and punch ;)

Todd is wearing the christening gown that's been in my father's family for nearly 150 years (my sister refused to use it with her kids because she thought it "should be white" and instead it's yellowed with age)

It's beautiful and I should have some pictures of him wearing it up on his website by Monday...

Becoming insanely paranoid

I belong to a "birth club" for women who were having babies around the same time, and it's been really good for asking dumb questions I wouldn't dare ask my doctors and comparing notes, so to speak.

But I think I'll avoid it for a while. I just found out 2 of the babies belonging to members have died of SIDS in the last week.

It makes me paranoid. One of the moms was even breastfeeding and carrying her baby in a sling, looked down and he had just stopped breathing. I keep reassuring myself that I'm following all the APP guidelines - no smoking in our home, sleeps on his back, etc. But now I'm scared to go to sleep because I want to keep checking Todd's breathing.

I guess I'm just starting to realize how much I love him. Forget every intense thing I've ever felt for a lover or soulmate. My emotions for my baby boy are so intense and overwhelming. How do parents survive these feelings without going crazy??