mockingbirdq (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mockingbirdq) wrote2004-08-22 03:07 pm
mockingbirdq) wrote2004-08-22 03:07 pm
hard week...
We were so lucky today...
We were in an accident outside our apartment complex today while pulling out onto the main road. Our fault, since the other guy had right-of-way though neither Tom or I saw him. One minute the lane was clear, the next he had slammed into us.
I didn't even ask Tom if he was okay. 2 seconds later I was climbing into the back seat from the front and checking a screaming-but-otherwise-unhurt Fox over (made the ambulance that arived 10 minutes later check him out as well) We all survived, except the car. So getting to work will be interesting until we can get our insurance to agree to a rental car.
The sad thing is, after it happened, all I could think of was "we shouldn't be here anyway". I want to be back home. I want to stay with my baby every day instead of having to leave him while I go to work. I want to have MY family nearby, not Tomu's. I want our friends back. This isn't the life I wanted...
Sorry, needed to vent. My breastmilk is drying up too, so my hormones are all out of wack. I'd planned to bf Fox until he was a year old, but that's not working out. I don't have any time to breastpump at work. Most of the kids are great, but there are a few of them that are just making teaching miserable... I'm just sad, carless, and lonely right now. Nothing has worked out the way I'd hoped. Tomu doesn't want to stay home with the baby anymore either (idiot thought staying at home would be "like a vacation" He's now discovered a baby is harder work than any job outside the home) so we trying to find a decent daycare soon.
Oh, Shiaolin called yesterday and that REALLY made me cry. She's not coming back for at least 3 more months because her mom has hit the end stage of her cancer. There's nothing they can do now except make her comfortable and Shiaolin is staying with her until the end. I wish we could do something to help, but she's halfway around the world right now. We miss her so much...
Just a horrible time all around right now. I want my mom !
We were in an accident outside our apartment complex today while pulling out onto the main road. Our fault, since the other guy had right-of-way though neither Tom or I saw him. One minute the lane was clear, the next he had slammed into us.
I didn't even ask Tom if he was okay. 2 seconds later I was climbing into the back seat from the front and checking a screaming-but-otherwise-unhurt Fox over (made the ambulance that arived 10 minutes later check him out as well) We all survived, except the car. So getting to work will be interesting until we can get our insurance to agree to a rental car.
The sad thing is, after it happened, all I could think of was "we shouldn't be here anyway". I want to be back home. I want to stay with my baby every day instead of having to leave him while I go to work. I want to have MY family nearby, not Tomu's. I want our friends back. This isn't the life I wanted...
Sorry, needed to vent. My breastmilk is drying up too, so my hormones are all out of wack. I'd planned to bf Fox until he was a year old, but that's not working out. I don't have any time to breastpump at work. Most of the kids are great, but there are a few of them that are just making teaching miserable... I'm just sad, carless, and lonely right now. Nothing has worked out the way I'd hoped. Tomu doesn't want to stay home with the baby anymore either (idiot thought staying at home would be "like a vacation" He's now discovered a baby is harder work than any job outside the home) so we trying to find a decent daycare soon.
Oh, Shiaolin called yesterday and that REALLY made me cry. She's not coming back for at least 3 more months because her mom has hit the end stage of her cancer. There's nothing they can do now except make her comfortable and Shiaolin is staying with her until the end. I wish we could do something to help, but she's halfway around the world right now. We miss her so much...
Just a horrible time all around right now. I want my mom !
no subject
I can also relate to feeling as though you don't belong. *hugs* A few months after I moved, I went through the same thing, where it felt like moving had been the biggest mistake I've ever made. All I can say is to hang in there--it WILL get better. *hugs*