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Jan. 7th, 2005 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mockingbirdqTodd is most definitely a toddler. He can run, say words like "bye", "please", "bird", "cat", "ba" for bottle, "pooh", "elmo", "Moo" for cow, "nay" for horse, "out", "off", "book", "oh!" for uh-oh, "bead" for bread, "cook" for cookie, "ju" for juice and I know there are more but I can't think of them right now.
I just recently realized that 1 year ago right now, my beautiful boy was nothing but a lump of a thing that I can now objectively say was kinda ugly (but I thought he was lovely at the time ;) Now he's becoming a real person and it is just amazing. So I thought I'd share my thoughts...
Things I learned in 2004 after having my first child:
1. You do not have to stay up all night and watch the baby to ensure he will keep breathing.
2. Knowing this, you will do it anyway for at least the 1st month. Maybe three.
3. Your bald, wrinkled little gnome will still be the most beautiful baby ever born. After seeing any other infant, your husband will whisper to you "OURS is much cuter!"
4. Your baby is better in EVERY way than any baby ever born. smarter, stronger, happier.
5. Poo can be yellow, green, orange or brown and still be normal, if disgusting. If the pooh is purple, he ate the missing blue crayon (this happened last month)
6. Children only get sick and need immediate antibiotics when your insurance doesn't start for another month and you won't have a paycheck for 2 weeks.
7. Baby puke can happen silently, quickly and will not wash out of dark colored clothing.
8. Breasts will "let-down" milk whenever your baby cries, touches your chest or the cat meows too loudly (also happened)
9. You will need a waterproof cover on your bed to protect against leaking boobs, leaking diapers and a leaky bladder immediately following giving birth :P
10. Formula is d*mn expensive, which just proves breastmilk is liquid gold. Babies prefer it as well.
11. It is virtually impossible to pump milk while working for any length of time. It's also messy and rarely worth the effort involved.
12. A good daycare is worth it's weight in jewels. It is the only way to go back to work and not be miserable.
13. All daycares are expensive. A GOOD daycare is even more expensive.
14. A natural penis is much easier to clean and care for than a circumcised one. No gauze, no vaseline,and no guilt during diaper changes. Fewer incidents of peeing every time said penis is without diaper as well...
15. Going up 3 flights of stairs with a squirming or sleeping baby has got to be one of the trials of hades. Going up with said baby and groceries is nearly impossible.
16. You can function on less than 3 hours sleep in 24 hours but you will be a real b*tch!
17. This is good, since you won't want to have sex for at least 6 months after pushing an 8 pound person out of parts of your body you've only associated with things entering before.
18. everyone will say the child you think looks just like his father instead looks like you @_@
19. Every fever, cough and sniffle from your baby will fill you with dread, and stories of any parent losing a child will make you upset. In contrast, any story of someone hurting any child will make you want to lynch that person.
20. The crib is nothing but a baby jail. Baby will play in it but not sleep in it. He would rather sleep with Mommy and Daddy, preferably in their bed between them with his own pillow.
21. You will look in your childs sleeping face (because that is when they are most precious) and for the first time, you will believe maybe there really is a god and he was crazy enough to trust you with this small person's body and soul. And you will feel very, very unworthy...
I just recently realized that 1 year ago right now, my beautiful boy was nothing but a lump of a thing that I can now objectively say was kinda ugly (but I thought he was lovely at the time ;) Now he's becoming a real person and it is just amazing. So I thought I'd share my thoughts...
Things I learned in 2004 after having my first child:
1. You do not have to stay up all night and watch the baby to ensure he will keep breathing.
2. Knowing this, you will do it anyway for at least the 1st month. Maybe three.
3. Your bald, wrinkled little gnome will still be the most beautiful baby ever born. After seeing any other infant, your husband will whisper to you "OURS is much cuter!"
4. Your baby is better in EVERY way than any baby ever born. smarter, stronger, happier.
5. Poo can be yellow, green, orange or brown and still be normal, if disgusting. If the pooh is purple, he ate the missing blue crayon (this happened last month)
6. Children only get sick and need immediate antibiotics when your insurance doesn't start for another month and you won't have a paycheck for 2 weeks.
7. Baby puke can happen silently, quickly and will not wash out of dark colored clothing.
8. Breasts will "let-down" milk whenever your baby cries, touches your chest or the cat meows too loudly (also happened)
9. You will need a waterproof cover on your bed to protect against leaking boobs, leaking diapers and a leaky bladder immediately following giving birth :P
10. Formula is d*mn expensive, which just proves breastmilk is liquid gold. Babies prefer it as well.
11. It is virtually impossible to pump milk while working for any length of time. It's also messy and rarely worth the effort involved.
12. A good daycare is worth it's weight in jewels. It is the only way to go back to work and not be miserable.
13. All daycares are expensive. A GOOD daycare is even more expensive.
14. A natural penis is much easier to clean and care for than a circumcised one. No gauze, no vaseline,and no guilt during diaper changes. Fewer incidents of peeing every time said penis is without diaper as well...
15. Going up 3 flights of stairs with a squirming or sleeping baby has got to be one of the trials of hades. Going up with said baby and groceries is nearly impossible.
16. You can function on less than 3 hours sleep in 24 hours but you will be a real b*tch!
17. This is good, since you won't want to have sex for at least 6 months after pushing an 8 pound person out of parts of your body you've only associated with things entering before.
18. everyone will say the child you think looks just like his father instead looks like you @_@
19. Every fever, cough and sniffle from your baby will fill you with dread, and stories of any parent losing a child will make you upset. In contrast, any story of someone hurting any child will make you want to lynch that person.
20. The crib is nothing but a baby jail. Baby will play in it but not sleep in it. He would rather sleep with Mommy and Daddy, preferably in their bed between them with his own pillow.
21. You will look in your childs sleeping face (because that is when they are most precious) and for the first time, you will believe maybe there really is a god and he was crazy enough to trust you with this small person's body and soul. And you will feel very, very unworthy...
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Date: 2005-01-08 06:40 am (UTC)nearly cried T_T