Becoming insanely paranoid

[mockingbirdq]

I belong to a "birth club" for women who were having babies around the same time, and it's been really good for asking dumb questions I wouldn't dare ask my doctors and comparing notes, so to speak.

But I think I'll avoid it for a while. I just found out 2 of the babies belonging to members have died of SIDS in the last week.

It makes me paranoid. One of the moms was even breastfeeding and carrying her baby in a sling, looked down and he had just stopped breathing. I keep reassuring myself that I'm following all the APP guidelines - no smoking in our home, sleeps on his back, etc. But now I'm scared to go to sleep because I want to keep checking Todd's breathing.

I guess I'm just starting to realize how much I love him. Forget every intense thing I've ever felt for a lover or soulmate. My emotions for my baby boy are so intense and overwhelming. How do parents survive these feelings without going crazy??

Comments

[kracken.livejournal.com]

Beautiful icon. ^_^

I was afraid of the same thing. I was on a hair trigger when I slept next to my kids. If their breathing changed, I was instantly awake. I've heard bad things about those slings, because the baby, if its small, can get wrapped up tight enough to keep it from breathing, or get it's neck kinked, or get pressed too close to the mother to breathe.

[mockingbirdq.livejournal.com]

Well, Todd hates the sling (screams bloody murder when I put him in it lately) so I haven't used it much. He's big enough now to ride in his snugli and look at everything as it goes by :)

I'm trying to make him sleep in his own bed, but lately he refuses to sleep anywhere except his car carrier. I'm not sure if it's good for him but I can't hold him all night so I let him.

He's still having some breathing problems and the doctors aren't sure what they are. I'm starting to think he's asthmatic, but the docs are clueless *sigh*